you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
