Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
