is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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