i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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