I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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