I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
