Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
