you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
