We won't sleep together?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
