I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
