Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I love black thongs
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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