haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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