I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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