Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
