hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You dont lie about slip and slides
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
