I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
