Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
