would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
