i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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