perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
this will be a night to untag.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
