i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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