That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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