He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
