dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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