I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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