At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
