and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
