There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
