I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
