What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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