hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
