I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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