$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
