Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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