please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize