Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
