I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Randomize
