I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
