Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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