It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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