make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
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