Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
