The maid of honor just puked.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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