He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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