I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
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