I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
