Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
