I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Everything about him screamed your future.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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