Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(240): View more from Maryland

Dual....:-)

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(574): View more from Indiana

how does Santa get into Hogwarts?

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(540): View more from Virginia

I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.

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(248): View more from Michigan

yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party

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(949): View more from California

'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear

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(914): View more from New York

UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.

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(571): View more from Virginia

Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.

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