so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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