I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
