It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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