I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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