Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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