I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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