we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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