The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
