thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He told me they were just razor bumps!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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