She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
