Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
this will be a night to untag.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize