I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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